Tamara, You show some real wisdom there. As a high school teacher in a privileged school district I have been surprised at how some “white” students have responded to discussions of systemic racism and implicit bias. For them be accused of being racist is the worst thing you could say about someone. When they fall into the “whiteness blind” they yell at me or tell me that the test tricked them.

At that point I have to tag team them with a psychology teacher to explain that all of us are born with an in group preference. The key is to recognize it, own it, and then seek friendships across boundaries. It is a slow process of unlearning.

I appreciate your thoughts here. I know how painful family meals and holidays can be.